Fear leads to Anger. Anger leads to Hatred. Hatred causes Suffering.
Yoda might as well have ripped this off from the Sutras of Buddhism, but today I exactly understood how a Sith is made and why Gautama and Yoda say the same thing.
I accidentally bumped into my imaginary friend Raechie while bristling in a heated argument (while walking, for Peter Pan's sake!) with The Sweetie --- as usual. I immediately fled from him, clutched my friend's arm and held onto dear life. Apparently, Raechie is meeting up with Mikey (geez, after breaking his heart... awww c'mon...) and they're watching the Revenge of The Sith (Star Wards Episode III). Mikey reserved 5 tickets... and only the two of them are coming. They tagged me along, but I declined, for obvious reasons and besides Sweetie and I already watched the movie in Gateway Mall some days ago. And yeah, I don't want to watch it again because I'm busy figuring out how to repel the Dark Side of the Force that is bothering me.
What are Siths made of? Siths are every much the same way like the Jedis, except that the Jedis are selfless and care about the good of all... unlike the Siths who only care about power, power, and more power. Today, I realized that an Anakin Skywalker lives within me (not only because we'll be naming the baby Anakin). I am willing to relent to the Dark Side just to save my loved one... except that He does not want to be saved.
Yesterday I told him that he brings out all the bad things in me. And today, he proved me I was right. Well, he doesn't know much about it, but it only breaks my heart to know that the man I love is not the man I really would like to love. It all takes a matter of acceptance, but how can I accept someone who doesn't accept me? He makes me feel like I'm an inferior, subterranean creature that lurks in the shadows. Everything I do for him is not good for him... I try my best, but as the cheesy line goes... I guess my best wasn't good enough. I feel like crying again, but this time no tears flowed. I reached the end of the line. Later, when he tries to hold me again, I'll ask him straight out: Would you like to end this game? I'm so fucking tired already.
I discussed the issue with one of my girl friends and she told me to hang on and it's just normal to be emotional like this especially with my condition. Maybe, she's right. When I tried to approach him, he recoiled. Now, we're on separate ways. I'm going North, he's heading South. And the question is: when are we going to lead our separate lives? Patience is no longer part of my virtues, so does benevolence. I tried to live as best as I could for him, but my efforts are not appreciated.
Now, I'm exacting my revenge. Should there be a Revenge of the Sith 2?
