Yes, I'm experiencing them now.
I wanted to puke and let out all of the things I ate --- let's see --- the ground beef California Burrito from yesterday's pig-out in Mexicali, the Spam sandwich i made at breakfast, the sour cream and onion-flavored chips my little Munchkin and I were gorging on a few minutes ago...
Ugh. I hate this feeling!
What's more, I am suffering from hunger pangs and whenever I eat, I feel like throwing up an hour after! And, not to mention the dizziness that is constantly tagging at my head... I can't even see clearly the letter I'm typing, dammit. I feel so lazy, so immobile, so... *sigh*
I wish he's here to comfort me, tell me that he's sorry that I am experiencing all this shit and assure me he'd be there always... but hell, no. Not even a text message from the sperm donor.
Thanks so much. Where the heck are you, anyway? I want my green mangoes dipped in salt and sugar right away.
I want to cry. Part of the hormonal changes, I suppose. Again, thoughts swimming like piranhas in my head, ripping off my brain cells. I just put down the phone, after an hour of girl chat with soon-to-be godmother Blowfish. I want to run like crazy, stalk my Ex-bfs and then cry and sleep. Tonight, I'm coming again to work (after 4 days of total bumming) and I'm not in the mood. Must make up some lame excuse again, ho-hum.
I'm going through my messages again in my cellphone. A message from last night's Sweetie was forgotten to be deleted. I looked over it again and again.. should I erase this now?
"Ah, ok... Cge sleep tyt & swt dreams. Miss u po"
(He was asking me about my day, so I gave him a rundown of what I did and told him I'm gonna sleep coz I'm reallyyyyy dizzy. Then came this reply. Haha.)
Gave me the jittery-jellybeany-wateryknees feeling again. He missed me? Amazing. Can't help but smile. No, I wouldn't delete this message yet, I want to savor each and every word.
I miss you too, sweetie.
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