Wild World

Yeah, baby it's really a wild world.

Haven't written here since I resigned from that company, which is approximately a month from now. Who would? I mean, the computer has been a mess, not to mention that I mess up my life too for the past few weeks. But here's the good side --- I've been staying with Sweetie and we're living in together until God knows when. Maybe up until the baby is born, or longer than that... but I'm not really hoping. I just savor the moment.

What did I learn?

That L-I-F-E is how you make it. And if you decide to BS your way into it, you really end up in a bunch of shit and screw up your asshole. Moral of the story: clean up your mess before the flies swarm into it.

That Sweetie is a nagger. Ho-hum. He likes to nag about a lot of things --- from messy rooms to disobedient siblings, a carefree father and a munchkin little brother. Although I'm starting to know more about him, I don't think that I'm really turned off. IN fact, I loved him more because of his flaws and unpretentiousness. But in fairness, he's really sweeeeet. Makes my knees turn into jelly. But hey-ho... Sweetie's a little tough like me. And way to damn stubborn. Like me.
I really dunno what to expect out of this relationship. Sometimes I wonder, if things had been different, would we end like this? Good side of the story: YIPEE!! He tells me he loves me. I believe him, but a part of me is still hesitant to accept it. Maybe because I'm just being cautious not to give my all, but I know that somehow, I would. Ironically, when things get frustratingly confusing, I just hold on to the fact that I know that he loves me. I love him, too.

That my mom is the most unexplained woman this earth has ever given birth to. No need to further explain.

That it's sooooo depressing to be a bum. That BS pharma company didn't give me any more updates of whether they'll accept a preggy model like me or what. Out of good faith, I told them that I am expecting my Little Sweetie sometime this year. And the usual palusot: We'll let you know. Well, I'll let YOU know, bummers --- you'll never find someone as smart and dedicated and competitive as me, and it's a shame you've let go of a big fish! 'Nuf said.

Where am I going?

None. Still don't know. But I'm hoping that after I see my little angel in September, I'll straighten out my life. Regrets have no space for me. I have to move on.

C'est la vie.